I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
