how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
