Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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