i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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