I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
