I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
