I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize