I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
