i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
