is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dicks are not precious.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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