I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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