I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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