So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
