I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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