our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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