I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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