I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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