Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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