You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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