ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
