But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
