left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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