well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
