The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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