what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
