Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
