I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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