yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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