margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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