Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
