P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize