Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
