The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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