I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
no you cant smoke seaweed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?