I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
