He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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