Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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