Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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