I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
