my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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