What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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