come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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