so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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