Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
