No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
