I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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