please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
honey bunches of taint.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
