Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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