Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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