whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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