i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I deserve this hangover.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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