do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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