can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
