Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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(407): View more from Florida

Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober

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(561): View more from Florida

We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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(407): View more from Florida

Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

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(630): View more from Illinois

He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.

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