Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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