No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
