at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
