it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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