Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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