i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
