You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
