check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
