C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
