Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
