CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
