nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my shit smells like andre
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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