i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
